I don’t know if it’s the vibe I give off, the type of people I am surrounded by, or if it’s just your regular Tuesday but I have found myself wondering lately where all the real gentlemen are hiding. Are there even any left to find? Surely they are not an extinct breed of man.
Hey fellas, what’s up with you guys?
Apparently gone are the days a man asks for your number and then calls a few days later to ask for a date that ends with a kiss on the cheek. Now it’s texting. It’s ‘send me naughty pictures’. No one wants a relationship anymore, they don’t want to take you out and wine and dine you. They want friends. With benefits. And nothing more.
Just this morning I was approached by a male co-worker.
‘Are you married?’
‘Nope, not married.’
‘You don’t want to be married. Have to deal with some guy every day, every night. Clean up after him. You’re better off single.’
‘Aren’t you a guy? Are you talking about yourself?’
‘Oh no! Not me! I was raised by a single mom so I know.’ Right. Of course you do.
He leaves. He comes back.
‘Yeah you don’t want to get married.’
‘Maybe I just need a friend then.’ As soon as it was out of my mouth I wanted to poke myself in the eyeball. What was I thinking?!?!?
‘Oh yeah, you need a friend. With benefits. Can I be your friend?’
I spent the next 30 minutes wishing he wouldn’t pass by my door again and give me a smirk while calling me his friend. He spent the next 30 minutes doing just that.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against the idea of a friend with benefits. I completely understand the need for a mutually beneficial friendship, believe me. I’ve been single long enough to know. And if that’s what you’re looking for then by all means, go for it. No shame in it.
But that’s not what I’m ultimately looking for. I’m looking for a relationship. For cold nights with warm arms to snuggle up in. I want someone to care about me. I want feelings.
It’s so discouraging to be solely approached by men who only want sex. Why is this the norm now? Are we as women really that easy these days that we’ve taught the guys this behavior is to be expected?
What’s happened? Is it just me? I wonder if every other woman on the planet gets asked on dates except me. Surely not.
I have this idea in my mind that I yearn for. It’s the one I’m waiting for. He’s the guy who opens the door for me and holds my hand. Who curls up on the couch with me on occasion. He gets caught staring at me across the room because I’m all he sees.
Is this even possible anymore? I wonder.
The co-worker from this morning? Found out later he’s married. What the whaaaaat?
Less shocking to me these days as the majority of men who have approached me have turned out to be married. Apparently while our will power seems to have taken a nosedive, the cheating husbands have shown up in surplus. *sigh*
And then I ask myself, if that’s the case do I really want a man who I fall in love with just to be heartbroken and cheated on in a few years? Maybe I do need to just stick with friends. The gentlemen are on hiatus.