Positive Reinforcement, first door on the left…

Meredith:  oh but before I stop chatting, let me just say that I really like your pictures. Just sayin.  And I am finding in looking at them that I prefer the natural light WAY better then using a flash.

Myra22:  See, until I got to that last part I thought u might be complimenting me and my creative ‘eye’. Then not so much. Wanh Wanh Waaaaaahhhhhh

Meredith:  no I made sure not to do that.

Meredith:  lol

Myra22:  Build ’em up and CHOP DEM BITCHES DOWN!!!!!

Meredith:  You really did do a good job though.

Meredith:  Good eye! Good eye!

Myra22:  It’s not such a good compliment anymore. Moment’s lost. God’s probably pretty happy about the sunshine compliment tho.

Meredith:  sunshine?

Myra22:  The natural light.

Meredith:  oh wow!

Meredith:  lol

Meredith:  lol

Meredith:  thats funny

Myra22:  Go God.

Meredith:  lol

Meredith:  ok im getting to work!

Meredith:  ill holler at ya stank ass later

Meredith:  🙂

Myra22:  Peace out, ho.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yes, we call each other friends.  lol

Here’s one of those  ‘natural light’ shots for your viewing pleasure.

Click on the picture to link over to Mer’s food blog.   She’s da bomb.  Most of the time.  😉

Let me say this a little slower for you.

I’ve been getting phone calls from an 800- number for about a week now.  As it is my automatic reflex, I hit the answer button and immediately disconnect the call because a) these people are usually obnoxious which means I have nothing to say to them; and b) I can’t be bothered to automatically delete their voice mail instead.  So naturally it’s taken me a week to come to the realization that the number calling me is trying to collect a bill, and despite the knowledge that all my bills are up to date, it took me another day or so to connect the two and figure out that these bothersome phone calls aren’t even for me.

Yesterday my phone rings and shockingly enough I do  answer but instead of an actual person on the other end, it’s a recording telling me to call them which immediately catapults them into the top slot of my I-want-to-scratch-your-eyeballs-out-slowly list.

I write down the number and I phone them to listen to a recording that tells me their office hours ended 5 minutes prior – before they called me, catapulting them a bit higher into my After-your-eyeballs-are-removed-the-gonads-are-next list.

Today they called me again and I immediately called them back.  I finally navigated my way to a customer service rep and this was our conversation:

CSR:  ‘What’s your account number?’

Me:  ‘I don’t have one.  I’m getting phone calls from this company but I don’t have an account with you.’

CSR:  ‘Oh.  Well, I can’t look up accounts by phone number but what’s your phone number?’

*give him my number*

CSR:  ‘Hmmmm.  No, it’s not finding anything.’  (Naturally.  Since you can’t look up accounts by phone number!!!!)

Me:  ‘Right.  Ok well there’s got to be some way to figure it out.  I’m not going to get calls from this company forever.’

CSR:  ‘It’s got to be trying to contact someone but they have the wrong number in the system.’  (Thank you, Captain Obvious.)

Me:  ‘I’m sure.’

CSR:  ‘Well, I can’t find anything with the phone number.  They don’t give you any information when they call?’

Me:  ‘No.  It’s a recorded message telling me to call this number.’

CSR:  ‘Let me try looking it up under the business accounts.’

la dee dah dee dah

CSR:  ‘No, it’s not pulling anything up there either.  I’m going to need an account number or something.  They don’t give you any other information when they call?’

Me:  ‘It’s an automated message.  It only tells me the company’s name and asks me to call.’

CSR:  ‘I’m sorry, there’s no way for me to find the account they’re calling about.’

Me:  ‘This company is not going to continue to call me for no reason.  I don’t have an account with you.  You’re not going to keep calling me 3 times a day.’

CSR:  ‘I can’t find the account with the phone number.  There’s nothing I can do.’

Me:  ‘Is there a supervisor I can speak with?’

CSR:  ‘Yes, there’s a manager I can forward you to.’

Me:  ‘Can I speak to them please?  There has to be some way to stop this.’

CSR:  ‘Ok.  Let me put you on hold first and see if there’s anything else I can try before you talk to a manager.’

*insert elevator music here*

CSR:  ‘Ma’am?  I’m going to send an email to our call center and get them to remove the number from the system.’

*face palm*

Ok so despite the fact his IQ had to be hitting in the low 60’s max, he was a nice guy so I didn’t really fly into him like I could have, but seriously?!?!?!  I know at least 5 times I’m looking around my office in disbelief waiting for the Punk’d crew to round the corner.

For the longest he was so adamant there was no way to find my account and I keep telling him I’m not going to keep getting these bogus calls just because his company has an inept data program.  There’s no way.

Excitement over, we shall see if the calls actually do stop.

THEIR Clock is tickin’.

“Have you found you a man yet?”

“No, not yet.”

“You better get in gear!  You don’t have much more time to be playing around with this!  How old are you, 32?  You don’t have much more time to be having kids.  Think about it, if you had a kid today you’d be 50 when they graduate.  You wait much longer you’ll be in a wheelchair!”

These are the most fun conversations a single girl in her 30’s can have.  It’s a shame I can’t spend my Friday nights bundled up in one of these warm and fuzzy chats sipping a Mai Tai surrounded by at least half of my 23 cats.

Best part…the quotes above are an excerpt of a conversation I just had this morning with a guy I work with.  A guy.  I work with.  Not a mother wanting desperately to be made a grandmother, a man who has nothing at all to gain from my fertilization.

He was joking….for the most part, but this should be addressed.  I know society pushes this picture of the perfect life on us that includes a mom, dad, and 2.5 kids with a big house surrounded by a white picket fence.  It’s a pretty picture, and there are some who desire that and will more than likely obtain it at some point in their lives. 

I, however, am not one of those ‘perfect picture’ women.  Do I want a man in my life?  Most of the time, yes.   Do I need to have a golden band around my finger with a high-carat diamond mounted to it in order for me to be happy?  Not really, no.  That’s never been a focus of mine.  I’d like to have a man to share my life with, but as long as he’s there I don’t require a ring to prove it.  If it happens, great.  But I could just as happily be with a man without that formal commitment.

And as for kids….there are times when the idea of having children appeals to me.  If that were something that happened for me then I have no doubt I would love that life and I would be the best mother I could possibly be.  I would enjoy it, and I would give everything I had to it.  But right now, on the other side of that fence where I have no children…I don’t care either way.  Because not having them means I continue my life freely, doing whatever it is I want to do.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I just want to live my life the way it’s meant to be.  Me, Johnny, and the 2.5 kids with the white picket fence isn’t necessarily my vision of the best for me.  I quite like me and Johnny scuba diving in the Atlantic or slurping noodles in Venice…driving scooters down the street in Hawaii.  I wouldn’t mind having marks on my passport instead of marks on report cards.

We are all different.  Not just in personality, but also in the way we view the world, the things we value, and the things we want out of life.  There is enough to worry about without me taking on the burdens of your image of what I should be.

Nothing is wrong with me if I never get married.  I am not a leper if I don’t have children.    The picture you’re looking at?  That’s YOURS, not mine.  Take that clock you’re trying to hang over my head, turn it sideways, and…..you know what to do with it.  This is my life.  Let me live it.

The 70’s are back! (1870’s, that is.)

I’m your huckleberry….

Raise of hands….  Who thinks this is sexy?  The molasses-slow Southern drawl; the mustache; that tough, can’t-beat-me-on-your-best-day kind of fella….  Bring it into the 21st century.  Is this sexy?

About a month ago a new foreman started in my company.  The first (and probably only) thing I noticed about him was the mustache.  Thicker than Val’s up there, but along the same lines.  The mustache and Doc Holliday, that’s what I thought. 

I admit, I was intrigued.  He didn’t talk much from what I saw, just walked around looking like a darker haired, blue-eyed Val Kilmer.  I wanted so badly to talk to this guy who’d obviously just walked out of his role as an extra on Tombstone.  What kind of guy is this?  Seriously.  Who looks like this?  It’s 2011!!  He had to be either a little crazy, or the most interesting person I may ever meet.

A few weeks later he sauntered into my office asking for something.  As he walked out he said, in his deep molasses-slow Southern drawl, ‘Thank you kindly.’  Oh. Em. Geeeee.  I could have melted into my chair on the spot.  You have got to be kidding me. 

I called a lady I work with, ‘Hey, this new guy….what’s up with him?  How old is he?’ 

(flipping through papers)  ‘It says he’s 23, why?’  I’m 32.  FML.

About a week later he’s slowly beginning to open up a bit.  I can’t stop myself from giggling every. single. time. he walks out of my office.  Because he’s always saying something Tombstone-y like, ‘Thank ye kindly.’   

Two days ago I saw his arms.  Tanned and muscle-y.  The earth shifted on its axis. 

It may have not been the case before, but it’s official now.  I am a cougar.  Rawr.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Edited to add this because it’s awesomely fantastic. An IM conversation with my friend:

Meredith:  i dont really think there is anything wrong with it as long as he is mature. and apparently he is was mature. like 1800’s mature
Myra22:  MEREDITH!!!!!! What if it’s a Tombstone-y Edward????
Meredith:  wow! ok simmer down
Myra22:  I bet I’m his la tua cantante.
Meredith:  im signing off now
Myra22:  lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meredith:  holy crap
Myra22:  I’m ur favoritest person.
Meredith:  you’re definitely up there
Myra22:  I’m gonna be a little scared of the Volturi tho, when we go to ask if I can be his even tho I’m human. I mean, I read the book. I know what they’re capable of.
Meredith:  If in about an hour Im not responding to anything you are typing, you may want to call 911 cause I just took some possible sinus medication. I found it in my car and i think its like from 2004. and i wasnt really sure that thats what it was. so just hope it works.
Meredith:  Ok you have to stop
Meredith:  and by “works” i mean, doesnt kill me
Myra22:  If u start to die, I’ll have one of his sisters come bite you.
Meredith:  i cant even respond to that
Myra22:  I can’t put into words how this whole conversation makes my heart sing.
Meredith:  im feeling puke-ish
Myra22:  I’m feeling immortal.

I would like to introduce….

Nacka Nut!  My travel efficionado!!

So here’s the skinny….  Back in 2009 a friend and I travelled to Seattle, Washington for a vacation.  During one of the days there we went on a whale watching excursion (where we saw 0.00 whales, by the way).  On the way back from that trip I saw this beautiful pine tree with giant nuts on it.  Words cannot describe how badly I wanted to turn around and get one of those giant nuts.  However, a) the tree was in someone’s back yard and b) I was driving on a 2-lane road in the middle of a giant line of traffic.  So obviously not bad enough to lose my place in line….

Regardless.

Jump forward a few hours to the next morning and my friend and I are on our way to Mt. Ranier for a driving tour inside the state park.  We decide to stop for a little breakfast at a highly recommended pancake house along the way. 

As we’re driving in the parking lot of the strip mall looking for said restaurant, I spot it.  And I slam on my brakes.

‘OH MY GOD, MEREDITH!!!  LOOK AT THAT NUT!’  <—– That would be me.

Lying a mere 200 yards away in the middle of the parking lot lane is one of those giant acorns I spotted in the tree just the day before.  I had been denied then, but alas, God was on my side.  He brought me an acorn!

‘Well go get it then.’  <—-That would be Meredith, much less excited about the nut than I am.  Her tepid words however, incite the fire in my veins that set me on a mission as I set off at break-neck speed around the practically empty parking lot to get to the giant nut I am sure at least seven other people are also racing for and subsequently I will have to defeat in order to win possession of my beloved nut.

I make it unscathed and open my door to finally grasp it in my clutches as then and only then do I realize it is not so much a nut as it is the top of an old bed post.  Wanh Wanh Wahhhh.

Meredith is in hysterics beside me practically choking on her own evil laughter at the sight of my heart crumbling in disappointment.  This may be a slight exaggeration as I could barely hear over the sound of my own guffawing.

I found it all so amusing that I scooped up that old bed post top to adopt as my own and much like Lambert the Sheepish Lion, the bed post became a nut, and so Nacka was born. 

Such a handsome fella, yes?

As you can see from the pictures, Nacka became my travelling companion on that day.  He enjoyed Mt. Ranier State Park right along with myself and Meredith, turning out to be quite the camera hog.

Over time he has developed quite the personality.  A few months later he accompanied me on my trip to London, UK.

Seen here at Trafalgar Square

It took a while to explain exactly why he couldn’t join the Royal guard at Buckingham.

Showing off in the British Museum.  Like I said…quite the personality.

At the end of last year he also accompanied me and some friends to San Francisco, CA.

You can barely make out the Golden Gate Bridge in the background.  I told you he’s a camera hog.

He acted tough until he actually SAW Alcatraz.

Said he’d climb Bridalveil Falls in Yosemite.  Then he looked up.

So that’s Nacka Nut, my travel efficionado.  Hope you like him as he should be popping up again after my next trip!