So 2010….I don’t really know what to say about you. You were quite the roller coaster in many ways, but fortunately you rounded off on the upswing.
Let’s see, lots of travel in 2010! London back in March. That was a big trip and I feel like maybe I came back a little different though I didn’t realize it at the time. I guess it’s something about spending a week in another country by yourself, kind of makes you feel powerful. There were several trips to the beach, always a fun experience. One of the times I even saw stingrays and sand sharks! The highlight of my beach trips this year! And finally a great trip to San Francisco back in October with the girls. It is a great city, though I must admit I think I favor Seattle a little more.
2010 saw me give my heart to someone for the first time in a loooooong time. It watched me dance on the clouds for a while waiting (not so patiently) for a warped situation to turn right, so happy to have him there, and then just as I thought my patience was about to be rewarded, the clouds were snatched from under me and I plummeted back down into reality, heartbroken. I still don’t feel like I know the truth of everything that was going on. I still wonder if he really did love me like he said. I sometimes wonder if he thinks of me now and what might’ve been. Is he sad without me? But those things I don’t know and I guess at this point I never will. Obviously it wasn’t a great situation to begin with, but coming out on the other side I can honestly say I gave everything I had to make it work and to stop him from leaving when he did. And, I can honestly say I loved that man with everything I had to give at that point. I did try. I just wish he would’ve too.
But moving on! I feel like I spent the majority of 2010 mad at God and the state of my life. June through August or so were probably my worst and I did some pretty dumb stuff during those couple of months, but I can say that things had greatly improved by the end of the year. I’m building a relationship back with God and I’m not so angry anymore. In fact, I have felt truly blessed over the past month or two.
So in walks 2011 and I’m hoping the upswing continues. I’m not a resolution kind of girl, but I have some ideas in my head of some stuff I want to change.
1. I know I want to be less of a procrastinator. There were several times last year that it got me in trouble and so I need to put a stop to that.
2. I would like to write more. On this blog, just for myself, and hopefully even try to start a book at some point.
3. I’d like to find a way to draw readers to my blog. As it stands no one even knows it exists and I want to change that. What’s the purpose of a blog if no one reads it? But I also want to find a direction for it and focus in that direction first.
4. Updates! I want to make some upgrades to my little fixer-upper of a house. Finally! Big plans for that this year.
5. Travel is always on my list. I’m hoping for New York this year and, if I possibly can, Italy. Woo hoo!
6. Down, debt! I have several little things that I want paid off by the end of this year. I’ve even created a *gasp* budget for myself in 2011.
7. Most importantly I want to work on my relationships. With God, with friends, and with the family that is slowly returning into my life recently.
There may be a few more things that I’ve forgotten at the moment, but I’m looking over this gargantuan ‘non-list’ of a list and I’m thinking maybe I was wrong. Maybe I am a resolution kind of girl.