I’ve been thinking this morning about timing in relation to my life recently.
Back before Playboy, I was chatting with the guy in England. I really liked him but you know how things go. Right as things ended with him Playboy showed up. I wasn’t happy about it at first, I just wanted the English guy back around…but Playboy was there and it was a distraction for me. Obviously things eventually grew into more than I ever expected, but he started out as a time filler.
When Playboy officially left honestly, there were at least 5 or 6 guys hanging around. Granted with different levels of availability, but they were there. They were all a good distraction. So over the weekend I guess I found a little peace with things (No, I’m not happy about it; yes, it still hurts; and yes, I still want him to come back; but the incessant crying has dried up. Maybe I’m even giving up the fight for him.).
This week I kind of look around me and the last guy that was hanging on has finally faded away. No more distractions. I’m all alone once again.
I’m not going to get sad about that right now, but I just thought it interesting how people pop up at certain times. Some for years and some for just a little while.
The timing of it all seems so perfect. It’s amazing, really. Of course, it’d be nice not to need a distraction but I know I learned things from the situation with Playboy and I guess maybe that’s to get me ready for the guy who’s going to sweep me off my feet.
This weekend I looked at my situation and said, ‘Playboy’s gone but the next guy is coming and he’ll be even better’. It was the first time I could say that without tearing up at the idea of not having Playboy anymore and it was the first time I could think about it with any level of excitement however small.
I just hope this next guy is the real thing and not another lesson. I kind of feel like I’ve learned enough at this point, but you never know.