This is something I’ve struggled with for a while now. I have friends who talk about feeling God’s presence. They have a whole heap of faith – at least compared to me. Personally, I can count on one hand the times in my life when I could have possibly felt His presence.
I have read books, I have prayed, I have cried, begged, and pleaded. I’ve tried to do the “right things”. I’ve been positive, I’ve been negative. I’ve tried time and again to read the bible regularly – that thing is boring. Sit, be quiet, and listen? I heard ringing in my ears and finally gave up.
I’ve been a good person for a long time….it doesn’t get me anywhere. I’ve done things that would be frowned upon…doesn’t change anything either. You can go into pretty much any situation expecting a certain outcome and you’ll find what you’re looking for – good or bad.
I would love to believe there is a higher power out there. That there’s a purpose to this life. I just can’t find it. Where is He?